A few years ago, I was on the go. I was traveling often for work. When I was not traveling for work, I was traveling for leisure, hanging out with friends and if you saw me or my pictures online, you would say I was living my best life! To be honest I was. It was amazing, I was shaking and moving at work, my team was good, my family was good and for the most part life was good. Then in 2020 that all came to a halt and like many others, I was forced to sit down within the four walls of my home and be in the presence of my beautiful family. Not only that, I was forced to face the noise of my thoughts and experiences I tried to forget. It is easy to “forget” when you are distracted, but what do you do when there are no more distractions? What do you do when the noise stops?
Sometimes your thoughts are louder than the words that are spoken. Sometimes your life experiences that come to memory are BIGGER than Mt. Kilimanjaro. Whatever the case, they show up and may not have plans to leave anytime soon. So what do you do when it looks like they are here to stay? Some of us choose to ignore what is before us and find other ways to be distracted. We put our all energy into helping others, we are on all the social media platforms and events, in some cases we are even hosting events. What do you do when no one needs your help? You are burned out by social media and you don’t have the energy to host another zoom call?
Eventually you have to be hospitable to your unwanted guest(s) and have a conversation. This will require putting in the work to heal your broken pieces, giving your insecurities a pep talk, and embracing the cacti, you know the things that hurt in order to move on with your life. In a world where the “hustle and bustle” or the “hustle and grind” was life, it is time to embrace what last year forced us to do. Sit in silence and make the best out what life decides or has decided to hand us.
What will you do when the noise stops?
A moment of vulnerability.
I hate what I have done and allowed others to do to my body a couple of years ago. Mentally and physically I gave up due to unrealistic expectations and by pushing through the pain. The others, I let them tell me I wasn’t the right size or look which made me hate my body and the features I was always taught to love.
After what I believe was moderate neglect on my end, I am in healing and repair mode. Some days I feel it is too late and some days I feel like it is okay where I am. It took years for me to get here and it will take time but one day I will fall in real love with her all over again.
Right now I have a love hate relationship with her. Some days I look at her and see triumph. Some days I see pain, neglect and the impossible. But I do see her. She is there. Waiting to be welcomed unconditionally. Some days I walk full speed towards her ready to embrace her and catch up like the old friends that we are. I am ready to talk about the journeys we have taken, and some days I stop in my tracks and turn around and run, in hopes that she didn’t see me. I always think, I will be back when I am ready, the commitment is more
than I can handle. Will she forgive me? How will she treat me?
Then I think about the times where I left her and came back. She has always been there with me. She has always been there to greet me. It’s not
her. It’s me. One day I will get the courage and give my body, her most deserving apology.
Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: Creative Round Up https://anchor.fm/neek3/episodes/Creative-Round-Up-e1g8toa
It is here!
A Dope Soul Interview: Maria Lambert, Founder, Breathe.Relax.Calm. is now available for your listening pleasure!
The podcast is available on all major listening platforms!
Grab your tea, pen, and journal, and enjoy!
🚨🚨🚨New Podcast Alert! 🚨🚨🚨
I am excited to announce the release of a New Dope Soul Interview.
Join me as I sit and talk to Maria Lambert, the founder of breath.relax.calm., a mental health platform that serves as a safe space for anyone who may need it.
Follow her on social media using the handles below:
Release Date: Tuesday, 1 March 22
Healthy love is the best love.
The flowers, gifts and candy don’t mean anything if the love and behaviors behind it are toxic.
Remember you can buy your own stuff, don’t let that keep you in a toxic relationship, friendship, sistership or situationship.
Check out my podcast, The SheSpeakz Podcast, on Anchor! https://anchor.fm/neek3