I hate what I have done and allowed others to do to my body a couple of years ago. Mentally and physically I gave up due to unrealistic expectations and by pushing through the pain. The others, I let them tell me I wasn’t the right size or look which made me hate my body and the features I was always taught to love.
After what I believe was moderate neglect on my end, I am in healing and repair mode. Some days I feel it is too late and some days I feel like it is okay where I am. It took years for me to get here and it will take time but one day I will fall in real love with her all over again.
Right now I have a love hate relationship with her. Some days I look at her and see triumph. Some days I see pain, neglect and the impossible. But I do see her. She is there. Waiting to be welcomed unconditionally. Some days I walk full speed towards her ready to embrace her and catch up like the old friends that we are. I am ready to talk about the journeys we have taken, and some days I stop in my tracks and turn around and run, in hopes that she didn’t see me. I always think, I will be back when I am ready, the commitment is more than I can handle. Will she forgive me? How will she treat me?
Then I think about the times where I left her and came back. She has always been there with me. She has always been there to greet me. It’s not her. It’s me. One day I will get the courage and give my body, her most deserving apology.
Who is She?
I am a Wife, Mom, Daughter, Full Time Employee, Friend and Change Agent that has been succeeding, failing and winging it for years. Although I am not perfect, I do know that God has been guiding my path along the way in each journey. No matter how good or bad my experiences may be or have been, I know they serve a purpose. What is that purpose? To show you that you are not taking this journey called life alone.
Over the years I have met phenomenal women with stories that you would not believe unless you heard them yourself. I created the SheSpeakz platform as a way to “Speak Life” into ourselves and those around us. SheSpeakz is a way to tell our stories and encourage women to embrace their journeys. At times it may be uncomfortable but there is someone who needs to hear your truth. I love meeting other people, listening to others about their life experiences, making connections and helping others make connections. When women collaborate with and support other women, amazing things happen.
Some of my passions are leadership/personal development, empowering women to be themselves, mentoring, public speaking, baking, traveling, writing my blog and spending time with my family and friends.
I currently reside in the San Antonio, Texas area with my spouse and our two active children.
My call to action for you as a reader is to embrace who you are and know that you are enough. We all can use a little improvement in some areas of our lives but don’t let that stop you from loving yourself and being the best you. I also ask that you take the time to encourage and support one another. In this delicate time, we can all use positivity in our lives. I also ask that you are intentional about making a positive impact in the lives of those around you and in your local communities. Use your talents that you have been given to change the world one good deed at a time.
You can communicate with me on the following platforms:
Follow me on Instagram: @theshespeakz
Thank you for stopping by, I look forward to our journey together.
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2 thoughts on “My Body Apology”
I love this so! I have recently, very recently started taking and sharing full body pics because I was so “ashamed” of this body…the only one I have…I didnt give her the props that she deserves from ALL that she has been through. So Im now learning to celebrate her, help heal her, love on her right now not when she changes😊
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I love the honesty! As women we all go through this and it’s ok to have these moments. Sometime it’s good motivation and sometime we have to render self Grace.