My Body Apology

A moment of vulnerability.

I hate what I have done and allowed others to do to my body a couple of years ago. Mentally and physically I gave up due to unrealistic expectations and by pushing through the pain. The others, I let them tell me I wasn’t the right size or look which made me hate my body and the features I was always taught to love.

After what I believe was moderate neglect on my end, I am in healing and repair mode. Some days I feel it is too late and some days I feel like it is okay where I am. It took years for me to get here and it will take time but one day I will fall in real love with her all over again.

Right now I have a love hate relationship with her. Some days I look at her and see triumph. Some days I see pain, neglect and the impossible. But I do see her. She is there. Waiting to be welcomed unconditionally. Some days I walk full speed towards her ready to embrace her and catch up like the old friends that we are. I am ready to talk about the journeys we have taken, and some days I stop in my tracks and turn around and run, in hopes that she didn’t see me. I always think, I will be back when I am ready, the commitment is more
than I can handle. Will she forgive me? How will she treat me?

Then I think about the times where I left her and came back. She has always been there with me. She has always been there to greet me. It’s not
her. It’s me. One day I will get the courage and give my body, her most deserving apology.

2 thoughts on “My Body Apology”

  1. I love this so! I have recently, very recently started taking and sharing full body pics because I was so “ashamed” of this body…the only one I have…I didnt give her the props that she deserves from ALL that she has been through. So Im now learning to celebrate her, help heal her, love on her right now not when she changes😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love the honesty! As women we all go through this and it’s ok to have these moments. Sometime it’s good motivation and sometime we have to render self Grace.

    Like

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